Home Discussion Forum Any suggestions on how to cure an identity crisis?

Any suggestions on how to cure an identity crisis?

The Last 2 years (i’m 20) I’ve felt lost when it comes to understanding what stage I am in life, where I am going, who am I supposed to be and why I am here on this earth. Often I feel depressed, lonely and bored and it’s hard to identify with things that I used to love like painting and reading and going to college, even though I have a wonderful loving boyfriend, a sweet apartment full of nice things, a great family and a deep spiritual background. Any suggestions on how to regain some sense of what I am doing with my life?
2 years ago i moved out of my parent’s house to go live with my boyfriend. (sorry, should of clarified)


  1. This is a totally normal experience – some people go through it in their early twenties, some go through it in their mid-twenties. No one tells you about it. You’ve had your life’s choices made for you up to this point. Now you’re thinking, “what next? who am I?” Does that sound familiar?
    Well, I am in my thirties – been through it. You’ll be fine. What I ended up finding out is that this is the time do learn a little about yourself. Think about what is important to you. Think about what you like to do – be sure that you make time for it in your day. You are becoming an adult – something that probably always had an air of mystery about it – now you will find out there is no mystery. And everyone is just a lost as you are. This is okay.
    I recommend talking to people that you trust who are a little older. If that doesn’t help, talk to a therapist. A third party is an interesting way to bounce ideas off someone until stuff sticks! Or you could try a bunch of things you have always thought about: traveling, scuba diving, parachuting, etc.
    The most important thing is not to worry. You are fine. This is really normal.

  2. Hi “msmhensley,”
    I entirely understand your concern regarding identity. According to psychologist Erik Erickson, you are in a stage called “Identity vs. Role Confusion.” However, I there is insufficient evidence to prove that you are going through the stage. From the statements your provided, it seems like you have some form of a slight depression. As you stated, “it’s hard to identify with things that I used to love like painting” this is a primary symptom of depression. You start to lose interest in your daily activities. This is just my reasoning, but don’t don’t take my word for it. You may want seek profession advice. Thank you and have good day!

  3. First: Go to the Doctor and get your Hormone levels tested.
    Your estrogen and Thyroid. If either or both are low they can cause depression.
    Second: If you do not have a faith to lean on during troubled times, the times are much harder. Talk to your God, every day and every hour, if you need to . He or She will carry you during times of difficulty in life. He always fixes my confusion in life.
    My faith has gotten me through every difficult time in life.
    Do what you love, and set goals for yourself. That will help you have direction.
    Good Luck and God Bless.

  4. Sound like your crossing that great channel of life,To the first stage of “NOW WHAT”. Perhaps the first thing to do is have a “BIG PICTURE” for yourself and your life. What do you want to do, or Where do you want to go in six mo., year or more. When we don’t swim forward we just sit and splash around and feel like we are drowning in the day to day of life. So make some plan for yourself, week to week, month to month goals for yourself or even day to day. Think about what you really want to do with yourself, what you want to get out of life. And one arm stroke at a time, before you know it will cross that channel and on dry land ….for now…;)


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