An Un-answerable Question?

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This is quite a long story so i really appreciate everyone who will read it to the end and offer their advice and opinions. 🙂
2 Years ago, i decided to become a member of “Flixter” (a website on which you can rate movies with millions of members). I received the invitation by email from a friend who had just joined the website herself, therefore, since i was bored…i signed up. When i first looked at the homepage, there was a list of usernames of many other members-amongst them, was an Italian name. Being Italian myself and living in Scotland, i decided to message him and ask if he was Italian (i was simply curious). He was Italian. He offered to become penpals (he lived in Peru) and gave me the link to his online blog which described everything about his life. When i first read it, i can’t describe to you how i felt. I mean, time had stopped, my heartbeat increased to goodness knows what rate and somehow, i just knew, or felt that i knew, that he was the kind of person i wanted to spend my life with. We continued emailing each other, getting to know more and more, and the more we found out, the more we seemed to merge into one. Not only had i found someone with whom i shared the same tastes in films, music-we have the same way out thinking, the same outlook on life and the outline of our life experiences are practically the same (the reasons why we both left Italy and moved to a different country, the careers we want to do in the future, etc etc.) We simply got each other. We were so perfectly in sync i couldnt believe it. Someone ACTUALLY understood everything i had gone through, every single thought that crossed my mind. 2 Years passed (i am now 18), we kept on emailing each other, not very often as he as busy with university and i with high school (he is now 21), i got on with my life, continued to like other people, but…this feeling…this feeling i got each time i listened to a song that reminded me of him, or each time we spoke online, it was as if my instincts were telling me that he was…my soulmate. (Yes, i believe in these sort of things…to much of your disgust, i’m afraid i am that sort of optimistic, maybe idealistic, incurable romantic, who has an eternal faith in true love.) After 2 years of pushing this thought aside, i couldnt take it any longer. For his birthday this past March, i sent him a birthday present, all the way to Peru, with a love letter inside. I explained everything. All my feelings…everything. I thought it was over at that point, i thought i had probably scared him off, but no….he emailed. He said he felt the same way and that the first thing he’d do when he moved back to Italy was find a way to visit me in Scotland. However, we both agreed to leave a sort of “what will be, will be” aura to it. Beginning a relationship online, without ever having seen each other apeared difficult…so the best thing to do was just wait till we meet to discover whether our feelings are real.
It’s now September (he’s moving back to Italy on the 5th October), i’m about to begin university which im extremely excited about, and i’m left with all these questions i dont have the answers to. We live in two seperate countries, how on earth could this ever work? What if i meet someone at university, but im too scared to start anything, because im waiting to see him, to see if he really is the one? What happens if i do get into a relationship with someone else and then he comes to visit me and i realise he’s the one? The fact is, until i see him, i’ll never have closure, i’ll never be able to act on other feelings i could have for someone else (if ever the opportunity arises), but i’m human. And i know very well that maybe i could. I don’t know…closing yourself in order to wait on someone you’ve never met….is that living?
It’s so confusing for me. I mean, i’m a person who strongly believes in fate, in god and his power of making us meet certain people for a certain reason…so why did he make our paths cross? The fact is: i dont know, i dont know, i dont know.
I don’t know eactly what i’m asking, but im sorry if ive made your head thump with pain at reading this boring story. Thankyou for reading to the end 🙂

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Allen B

“I don’t know eactly what i’m asking” [sic]
I don’t think anybody else does either!

Simon Magnus

I can’t tell you the correct way to feel because that’s none of my business.
But what I will say, is that you seem to have gotten your hopes up over something that has very little chance in working. I mean, you’ve ever met eachother. It just seems a bit unpredictable.

Dillon Q


Gerard D

nice story, he could be the one just wish you the best, it could most definetley work out =D good luck with it =D
also the answer is fate 😉


You are “in love” with a fantasy. This whole thing is not based upon anything concrete. You are heading for the biggest disappointment of your life. I say, let it go and live in the real and present world. If you do, you won’t be sorry.


If you have plans to meet each other, stick to that for now. If you got into a relationship at university you’d still be thinking “what if…” If you really think he’s the one, then go for it. If you want it to work you can make it work. Just go with the flow, follow your heart and see where it takes you!


Don’t worry about it! I bet he’s feeling exactly the same right now! Your story sounds incredible I’ve got to say! You sound incredibly lucky, I hope that everything turns out well for you and this guy, and I hope that it fate that you’re together, and remember don’t worry embrace the chance and see what come of it!

efsane esmerliK

Ok. So If he’s moving back to Italy next month, if he makes arrangements to meet you for sure by Dec-Jan, and if your still hot for him then wait. But if he is back in Italy and he has made no plans or hasn’t said anything about wanting to meet you in the next few months, then get the message that he probably digs you to a point, doesnt want to hurt your feelings and he is buying time hoping you will eventually forget about him and meet someone else or he may just want to play the field, not really interested in something serious.
Hope it goes well, try not to wear your heart on your sleeve. If I’ve learnt anything, its that the guy should Always make the first move, otherwise you kill the excitement, the mystery for him. Romance is based on mystery…the not knowing, the seductive toying, the flirting is what makes it all so delicious. Ask married folk, they’ll tell you.


It’s easy to e-mail a picture of each other to each other along with pictures of freinds and things he advises he is involved in Look closely at the pictures and study them. The way the freinds look and the surroundings of living space can tell you a lot about whether the person is blowing you a lot of smoke. Are you the one telling him what you love and he is agreeing with you? Be careful if that is the case. Is he building on what you say just to keep you attached to the fantasy? You don’t know him till you meet him and you only know what he wrote not what he believes. Tread lightly and go to School. If he shows up, thats when you start your judgment and not before. Then you must start from the real beginning! The internet can start as a background but not a base. Use your information to judge him cautiously after he takes the time to find you. Hope this helps and good luck in your decision it will be the most important one you make in your young life.


All i can say is if you have that strong feeling it’s “meant to be” go for it. I know what you mean as I feel like that about someone and you’re lucky you have the confidence to confront him with your feelings. I’m too shy.
Hope this helped and good luck =]

James W

get your student loan, take a weekend off from uni work and go and see him, or maybe better still (safer) give him money to get over here for a weekend. If ur stayin in halls this could be very convenient, it would be very little money for the peace of mind you could get from it also

mark corr

I felt the same way and so did the girl. We are now together and are “soulmates” (or as close as anyone can get). There’s no reason why it shouldn’t work. I’m 18 and from Scotland and I’m starting Uni, too. How odd:P
Good luck.


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