Am I the reincarnation of Jesus?

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I’ve recently discovered that I posses a divine power of walking on water, an ability Jesus (or should I say “I”) was famous for!
Granted, my powers only work at 0 F or less, but I can do it, nonetheless! Also, I have the power to change water to another substance! (power works when I ingest said water)
Soooo what now? You guys aren’t gonna try and nail me to pair of wooden beams again, are you?

15 Comments

  1. “You guys aren’t gonna try and nail me to pair of wooden beams again, are you?”
    Of course not, we have power tools this time.

  2. no because you are not Jesus
    God said many people would come claiming to be jesus
    thanks for fulfilling the prophecy of God.

  3. Haha, very funny. But to answer your question philosophically, rationally and theologically, NO, you’re not the reincarnation of Jesus! Sorry, kid! There is but ONE Jesus and that was Jesus of Nazareth back in ancient biblical times! The 2nd coming of Christ on this Earth has YET to be happen.

  4. Hell no. We aren’t in the Dark Ages. We use metal for crosses nowadays.
    Can you change the water in my hand to Jack Daniels?
    Please?

  5. If you have to ask then then answer is probably “NO”
    You would also need to explain why the manner and timing of your “return” did not match the timing and the manner the original Jesus said his coming back would be like.

  6. I am pretty sure you ruined your punchline by saying: ‘my powers only work at 0 F or less’
    I am interpreting this as a joke that you walk on ice!
    Water freezes at 0C not 0F

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