According to your belief system, faith, etc., does love have boundaries ?





Are all boundaries self (ego) imposed?
Why is this, why does the ego need to be protected?
I have met many wonderful people here on R&S many claiming to be spiritual but when the rubber meets the road some of them start setting up and advocating boundaries.
Some really beautiful answers, thank you all. : )


  1. wait…i have a question about love that is against both religion, one is pentecostal and the other is jehovah’s witness. What is the best advice about that? will you help me? 🙁

  2. The process of falling in love removes the barriers that we have been using to hide our loving essence…Our conventional understanding of love is built on a belief in scarcity – that we are personally lacking in love and that there is never enough love to go round…. In contrast, our new understanding is built on the idea that we are one hundred percent complete when it comes to love.

  3. Love simply is…
    Ego creates boundaries…
    It doesn’t need to be protected, It’s just scared!
    Nice question Kali

  4. Love is of God and God is infinite.
    I believe boundaries are set by the individual, when they choose to live for themselves, rather than God.
    The “ego” never really needs protection, “self” does, but again, only when one chooses to live for self.
    When one chooses God over self, they forfeit self for God. Then, God protects.:D

  5. yes, it has boundaries it must. I believed in unconditional love. Then my credit card was maxed out, etc, etc, etc. We have to stand up for ourselves in life & that is self-love & it is loving them b/c we don’t enable them to act insanely.

  6. No, according to my belief system, Love has no boundaries! Yes, all boundaries are self imposed but many times they happen unknowingly.
    Now, about those who claim to be spiritual yet they start setting up boundaries, its probably because they are not fully spiritual yet. I guess I’m one of such people, I’ve spent so many years leading a materialistic life without bothering about anything else. So, I guess it will take some time to break all those boundaries.

  7. No; love doesnt have boundaries but fate, human destiny and the world and any one living in it under its conditions does. By world i dont necesarily mean the people or the society but even much more broadly including life, universe operation laws, time, mind etc
    Ego wants to be protected because mind doesnt know the better things, it clings to ego as one who protects him/her. ego is strong by force of habit but stronger because of the insecurity without it

  8. Love can’t possibly have boundaries and it can’t be reduced to a concept. One can constrain or interrupt the flow of love due to self limitations but the flow it self is uncontainable, unmeasurable, overflowing. Light doesn’t have boundaries – it can be obscured by an obstacle but it will inundate all possible space and even warm up what it can’t overcome. So far this is something that makes sense to me. But is also a mental recognition…
    All concepts are artificial and false structures. However it seems we need concepts to communicate verbally, analogies to express something inexpressible. Debates are often a discussion on the limits and consistence of concepts rather then over the reality itself. Words will never contain the truth but they can be useful to point to the truth.
    I’m starting to give my first steps in my ego recognition (or my concept of it, which is still very dynamic and unclear). If who I thought I was is my ego then this structure has definitely a self-preserving mechanism a bit like the egotism found in the survival instinct and in earthlings, a self programing that tends to protect the program to keep it running and last through time. This system is vulnerable to changes but it also must change in order to survive, readapt its new identity to coop with the challenges and attempts that try to put it out of scene.

  9. Until everyone learns to love from a spiritual perspective, some boundaries are necessary. The reason for this is that you cannot truly love another without first loving yourself. Loving yourself means acknowledging that you deserve respect. You also deserve to have love returned for the love you give. You deserve to be safe from being used, put-down, disrespected, etc.
    Until the day comes when everyone truly loves, boundaries must be in place to ensure that love is not rewarded with harm.

  10. love is limitless and boundless.
    ego needs protection and defense to stay “alive”. for if you would stop feeding the ego’s dramas, desires, guilt, projections, it would be no more.
    ego is a bundle of thoughts, concepts, convictions, belief systems, past memory, identification with mental and material possessions. if you would stop to constantly remind yourself that you are a father, a brother, a son, a uncle, an employee, your star sign, your profession, your car, your house, your past experiences, your hurts, your desires, your aspirations… if all this inner mental chatter would be ignored for a while, the ego, the separate I-entity, the person you take yourself to be, would die and the bodymind would simply act in harmony with all that is.

  11. I don’t have a “set” belief system…mine is more like a stew…LOL
    Anywhoo, do I have boundaries on Love?…
    Yes, I do…but today I can honestly say that it is not a “bad” thing, and I am open to my boundaries changing and/or expanding.
    Today my boundaries are “good” because I consciously placed them there, not out of fear, guilt, or judgment.
    Today I am better at being honest with myself with what resonates with me, and what doesn’t.
    It’s not about being selfish to my fellow brothers and sisters, but about being honest about my strengths and weaknesses and Not allowing my ego to make me feel guilty if I can’t Love someone the way they want me to.
    My ego used to puppet me in this way regarding not having boundaries…”they wont like you if you don’t do this or that”…”they’ll feel you are not Spiritual if you act this or that way”…”You need them to validate you and who your trying to be”…
    So, as I stand, on sometimes wobbly legs, but standing nevertheless…I can honestly, assuredly say…”Yes, in some instances, I have a boundaries with Love.”…but I am open to change, so I believe that I Am ok.

  12. What IS a boundary, anyway? Something that blocks one from a place they want to get to, right? Self imposed boundaries mean that said person doesn’t really want to go there for some reason (fear, etc..).
    I have self imposed boundaries on my love, I feel if I don’t and I just allow myself to love everyone freely I will get roasted, I’ve already fallen into the fire a couple of times..I’m burning in it right now. Who am I trying to protect, my self/ego? Well, he’s pretty much in control a good deal of the time still. I’d be a lying phony if I said otherwise, but I’m working on it.
    I BELIEVE we all should be free and free to love each other. I personally think that love and freedom have to happen together in order for both to work properly…so I guess that describes my real limitation on the whole thing, but I’m no expert.

  13. God is love and He demonstrated His love for us by sending His Son, Christ Jesus to the cross to pay for our sins. Though His love is perfect and knows no bounds, the in-working of His love in and through us, is limited by our capacity to model His love to those around us.
    Pride is at the root of our ego’s and is one of the greatest impediments to our sharing God’s love with others. Perhaps this is why God so hates our pride.

  14. I think to answer this question we need to identify what love is. Set it up like and equation if you can. For example Love = patience. This is just an example. Now with this in mind think of mathematics. 2+2=4 but so does 4×1. So even though love does = patience, it can also mean many other things. For my my definition of love is selflessness. You mentioned ego or self boundaries. So, since I believe that love is putting yourself last and putting everybody first, I mean everybody (blacks, whites, gays, Jews, Christians, etc) then love has no boundaries. I think Jesus Christ was the greatest example of love we have. He didn’t hang around the people who had already found God. He hung around the thieves, prostitutes, tax collectors etc. Christ always put himself last to be seen as first in the sight of the Father. He kept this way of life all the way to the cross. So i don’t know if I have strayed off topic, or even if this is what you are looking for. My simple answer is no, love has no boundaries when you put yourself last, when you make others a priority no matter who they are or what lifestyle the have.

  15. Spiritually no, but practically yes.
    I say this because of legal reasons. At a spiritual convention or a Satsang my answer would be yes. But Y!A has teenage kids on it, so without certain boundaries you will be just giving a teenage boy a restraining order or a trip to jail !
    So until a person understands the true meaning of love then i would advise boundaries.

  16. No.. Love doesn’t have anything to do with my faith.. if I love a person from a different faith than me.. then I have accepted Jesus christ.. because when you love someone else without caring nothing.. you are doing his commands..

  17. my boundaries are above the belt and off the boobs.
    but other than that I dont ditch my friends.
    im not a loser like that

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