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A journey of a thousand miles begins with one single step from your ex?

I lost the first true love of my life of a total of almost 5 years spent with him. Being vulnerable, taking him for granted, not showing him I changed my nasty, jealous & drunken ways, telling lies and playing constant games, telling him I would never talk to him again is what made me lose him for good. I was so insecure because I can still remember it clear after 5 years of what triggered that. The first year we started dating, I held on to the fact that he spoke with his exgirlfriend (his 1st love, but she cheated on him) behind my back and I was the one to confront him about it. I held onto past things way too much. i usedthat against him throughout the5 years I spent with him. Now, After no contact of 1 year and he is now happy with his new current girlfriend who does not make the msitakes I did, I wanted to say sorry for acting vulnerable and pushy, but it was TOO late because he already changed his number. Huge slap in the face, karma hit me 10 times worse,
I get the advice to let it go, stop living in the past, change for the better and myself in the present moment, to just move on.. How do I just “move on” and stop beating myself up for making this guilty mistake? How is this single step so hard to do because I constantly think of him still after 1 year?
They say, when you least expect it, the someone I’ve been looking for is out there and will happen. It’s very quite hard for me to believe in that. I feel so foolish for what I let happen and moreover, lose someone for life. You don’t know what you have until it’s truly gone.

8 COMMENTS

  1. He has moved on and is happy, if you care about him, he happy for him. Move on and make sure you do not treat your next boyfriend the same way or you will lose him too. You will never be happy until you lose the green monster.

  2. You’ve learned a hard painful lesson – and this relationship was a stepping stone for you – it wasn’t meant to last – or it would have.
    You have to stop beating yourself up – we’re all human – we make mistakes – and I think if you really did feel chemistry with this ex boyfriend, you might have worked harder to make the relationship work – or maybe you simply needed to grow up a bit more – which I think you have.
    Since your ex has not tried to contact you, just let him alone – it might not be such a good thing to try to contact him now that he has moved on – and now it is time for you to do the very same thing. Keep in mind the lessons you have learned and try not to do these bad things again.
    I’m sure you have come a long way since the relationship broke up.
    Good Luck!

  3. You have already gone through your first step and that was a hard one, to change for the better and realize what mistakes where made, now it is time for you to care for you, and cherish you, but doing this you will allow someone to care for you the way you should deserve to be treated and cared for, yes you may from time to time think about him, that is only natural, but wish him all the happiness he deserves be thankful that you got to know this man and wish him well and he would wish you well.
    ……………………take care

  4. Well Miss, i had the same thing , i couldn’t stop thinking about my ex but an then i forgot all about him .. now i don’t think of him now. i am married almost 2 years on the 19. so far me an him i am happy with my husband, so here the think i will let u know it hard to fine the right guy… i know been throw a lot until i meet my husband .. it is hard at frist u an ur girls should go to club an have a girls day an that right guy should come only but watch out most of them are only one thing if u know what i mean but look ahead an put it all …

  5. sorry to hear that Hun, you just have to move on there’s nothing you can do if he is a a relationship.
    maybe he was not the one for, im sure their is someone out there for you.
    good luck

  6. You did make mistakes and I’m sorry you lost the man you love. It sounds like you’ve matured and become a more responsible person. Unfortunately some things in life can’t be undone. I believe that there is a plan in life for everyone. Some people may seem like a great match on the surface. In reality things may not be as wonderful as it appears. It’s hard to face the future because it’s unknown.
    I can tell you from personal experience that when you least expect it the perfect person will come into your life. I was busy living my life for quite a few years and I wasn’t really interested in dating. One day I went to visit a friend and I met my soul mate. This man has entirely changed my life and I can’t imagine being with anyone else. It was definitely worth the wait!
    You know what mistakes you’ve made in the past and you don’t want to repeat the problems. You may remain single for awhile but don’t give up hope. Know what your standards are for a relationship, have faith, and be patient. It’s better to wait instead of living with more regrets. Good Luck!

  7. My 1st marriage ended back in 80. even though he was a a**hole, I still think of him 27 years later!!
    If you have fixed the bad things about yourself, then you’ll be more prepared on what kind of lover to be next time. Your doing the right thing by not rushing into anything fix you first

  8. Get counseling. Leave your ex alone and accept that you screwed up and he is better off without you in his life. There’s not much else anyone can offer you besides what you already mentioned in your question. You already know what to do, so do it.

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