A coworker of mine wanted to be friends outside of work, even though our points of view regarding religion/spirituality are complete opposites. For a few months after she first came to work at my company everything went really well. Actually it went great!
We got along just fine, joked around and had no problems whatsoever. The problems arose only when I told her that I found a few difficulties with the Bible, although I deeply love Jesus as an Ascended Master (as is my personal belief). Well, she even gave a Bible at one point, which I loved not necessarily because I agree with what’s in the book, but because I liked her.
This lady’s husband is a pastor and they are really into the fundamentalist thing. I saw no problem with that as I respect everyone’s points of view. I thought she would respect mine as well.
In any case, a couple of weeks ago she said something to our manager about me that I found hurtful, even though she later denied saying it (I was present and in front of them) and said she was just joking. Well, I only wanted to talk about it. I guess my Ego wanted an apology. Didn’t get one. Instead, I apologized and told her it was my fault. Why? Well, because if I were TRULY a spiritual student NO comment from anyone would’ve hurt me in any way. Do you agree?
So I tried to explain this to her and tell her that the responsibility was mine for the “bad blood” from before. But then I made a decision that I needed to protect her beliefs from… well, from me. What I studied for half of my life is completely out of her realm of understanding and there had been conflict before because she will fight to the death to protect her beliefs. But she wanted me say she was and would always be my “favorite” not only at work but outside of work as well. I then told her that everyone is my favorite. When I denied her the friendship and refused to join up her faith, that’s when I received the two most awful, hate filled e-mails I’ve ever received. Pretty much condemning me to a tragic death because I don’t believe as she and her husband do.
Now she walks around the office looking all hardened and cold. And I can’t help but feel the dark energy coming from her. And everyone else is affected as well.
A few minutes ago I found out she blocked me on Facebook as well.
Am I wrong to think this 50-year-old woman is acting in somewhat immature ways?
And I’m fully aware that by asking this question it makes ME a person who isn’t fully spiritually mature either.
But this prejudice against me is hurting me. As I’m sure it hurts her.
I understand this might be a learning experience. But how can I go on working with this person under these conditions?
Thank you in advance for your help/advice.
SheWho, I wish I COULD “cut her loose.” But we are coworkers… I see her every day…
She says hurtful things to other coworkers as well. She puts the young girls down because they date and go to clubs late at night. She has completely identified with the “mother” in her (she has 7 children) and feels that the world is part of her motherly responsibility. And this extends to people older than herself as well. This bugs everyone, of course.
To the Christian friends who answered me: thank you! Thank you! I knew I wasn’t crazy expecting that someone would understand that this isn’t Christian behavior. It’s all so sad, really….
To be fair, right after my apology she did apologize after a long email. But by then I was hurt and… didn’t want to pursue the friendship anymore.
I made her feel “special” and wanted and warm. I know how to do this. How? Well, it’s simple: during a long dark night of my soul I learned that the best way to receive love is to GIVE love. That’s when I let go and let my love flow freely. I guess she was attracted to that. Although she says “I” was attracted to HER light. Funny, huh? : )
Too bad we can’t have both sides of the story. I may be hurting her more than she is hurting me. Albeit unintentionally… Who knows. Sometimes I think people who are hurting the most are the ones who attack others.
I’ve been thinking about the lesson in this. I hope I learn my lesson, like you said. And it is indeed a lesson. As everything in our lives provide us with all kinds of lessons to be learned.
“o,” you are always so wise and thoughtful.
I know what you mean. This is a test not for her, but for ME, because I can only work on myself of course. I don’t feel like I “need” to be liked by her. It’s just that… I’m very, very sensitive to other people’s energies. And whenever she gets near me I FEEL her aura, dense, dark and polarized energy.
After reading all your answers carefully (thank you all so much!), I’m now trying to figure out a way to neutralize what I feel is her confused energy from interacting and contaminating mine even further (since I know my energy isn’t in such great shape either). So I can truly love her deeply and unconditionally. Even when she can’t or won’t do the same for me.
I’m trying to go one step further and eliminate all need from my part. Tough… at least right now. *smiles*