Do not confuse pagan ritual with the Word of the Lord. Many exorcists and priests have said this kind of “meditation” opens a door for the demonic. Our power does not come from “within ourselves,” as Satan and this New Paganism preach, all power comes only by the grace of God. I implore you to see Father Ripperger’s videos on the subject, and I really do hope that The Lord can deliver you from this occult paganism developed before the Year of Our Lord.
God Bless you,