When I started practicing Tantra with my husband, I was thrown for quite a dizzying loop! In the midst of the breathing and the movements, I connected to him in a way that I never had before. Mind you, we’ve been together for more than a decade, and we’re very close. But in our meditations together, we somehow reached a whole new plain of intimacy and understanding. His eyes were the same ones I had been looking into for many years, but now they were tinged with a new kind of depth and color. It was like we were creating an entirely different language; like we were ploughing across a fertile and exhilarating new land.
It is with much excitement that I share this Couples’ Meditation with you! You and your partner can use this whenever you like. It’s a good one to help you plug into one another after a long day apart. It’s also a good way to energize and start the day, and on the opposite end, it can be a relaxing thing to do before bedtime. And if you do this meditation right before lovemaking, it can really strengthen your chemistry!
Whenever you choose to do it, be sure to approach the meditation with complete awareness and an open mind!
Here we go…
1. Find a comfortable place for you and your partner to meditate. If you want to play some music, be sure to turn on something that is nice and soothing!
2. Sit back to back, whether it’s cross-legged on the floor or on your bed. Wherever you choose to go, make sure that your backs are touching.
3. Feel your spines come together and take a nice deep breath here.
4. Now, close your eyes and start to synchronize your breathing, inhaling and exhaling together. It might be tricky at first, but be patient, and you will find that you’re soon in-step with one another! Keep up with the synchronized breathing for a few minutes.
5. And, still breathing together, pull your shoulders back about an inch and hook your arms together. Your left arm should be hooked into your partner’s right arm, and your right arm should be hooked into your partner’s left arm.
6. With your arms hooked and your breathing still synchronized, start to sway side to side together. As you move to one side, inhale together, and as you move to the other side, exhale together. Be sure to keep your eyes closed, and just allow yourself to get lost in this union with your partner. Drop all thoughts from your mind, and just focus on slowly moving as one single unit. Do this for a few minutes.
7. Now, start to slowly move forward and backward. (As you go forward, your partner is moving back; and as you move back, your partner is moving forward.) As you move in one direction, inhale together; and as you start moving in the other direction, exhale together. Be sure to keep your arms hooked, and continue with the breath synchronization! The slower the movements, the better. This way, you can really feel every subtle shift in your body, and you’ll be able to put more pointed focus toward breathing with your partner. Do this for a few minutes as well.
8. When you’re finished, unhook your arms, and adjust yourselves so that you’re both facing each other.
9. Make gentle eye contact, and as you do so, try to get your breathing synchronized again. You might want to inhale and exhale through your mouths, so it will be easier for you both to match your breathing throughout. Try and keep this going for five minutes. It may feel kind of strange to hold eye contact for this long, but trust me, it’s worth it!
While you’re breathing and making eye contact, you may feel any number of emotions coming up. You may feel like laughing or crying or making noise. Or you may not feel like doing any of these things! Know that wherever you are is where you should be. And trust that completely. Surrender to it, and just allow your body to guide you. Leave your mind out of the equation for this entire exercise.
After the eye-gazing and breathing, give one another a nice, long hug.
And there you have it!
A super easy way to connect, grow, experience, and love, as an ever-evolving couple!
About the Author
Rhoda Jordan Shapiro teaches Tantra/Meditation sessions and workshops in Los Angeles, CA. In her work, she seeks to empower people with the tools to live ecstatic lives. As well as teaching, she works as an actress and writer. Her journey as an artist has been enhanced significantly by not only practicing Tantra, but by living it from moment to moment. In all of her work, she thrives on co-creating spaces where everyone is inspired to look outside the box and toward the budding potential that grows there.