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I hate my father, how do i deal with this negative energy so it doesn’t harm me mentally in the long term?

Yeah I hate my dad like insane because his a narrow minded A hole. I would like to deal with this negative energy so i don’t turn gay or anything in the future because i have no father figure or some crap like that. For those who go “You won’t have your father around for ever” well your not in my shoes and his been a D head to me ever since i was a kid! so how do i deal with this?

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  • My father is so bad.wat is really dnt lyk him he impose his orders on us without even knwng our consent.m tired of ths emotional torchure it really pisses me off..for every girl her father is a hero.bt for me he is an orthodox.m tired of plesing him..he is so rude smtyms..ryt nw m flng so miserable.i really want to elope and never comeback.fedd up frm him

  • my dad is so negative to me that I fear his negativity will come into my life- which I don’t need, or want. I mean my dad means well, but sometimes I need to walk out or just ‘leave’ because it’s like ONE THING AFTER ANOTHER. We are in business together. actually he started a cleaning company back in 1975. I went to college for music and all that. he was unsupportive. made me feel like nothing I can do was good enough. I even got a standing ovation for a song I performed. what did he say? oh yeah, you don’t have to work tonight. that was worse than stabbing me in the heart. anyway, long story short I started a janitorial company through his company. I hate it. can’t work with him. any suggestions. i’ll get into more if want. thanks for listening…

    • Wow. OMG . You have no idea how grateful I am to have stumbled across this discussion !!!! I had no idea that others out there were in my same situation.
      Your posts describe my life in vivid detail. I am barely keeping my head above water in his deep sea of negativity . I need to generate positive energy or I will drown. I have had emotional abuse from more than one boyfriend and this stuff with Dad feels the same way. I cannot change his reality. I can find mine…and keep trying to hold on to it. Any suggestions or comments are welcome . Thank you for your support.

  • Wow, I can totally relate!

    My father is totally bipolar and switches on and off like a switch from being nice to being down-right mean.

    Most of the time he’s just so mean-spirited, and negative that I dislike being around him. He thinks negatively of the world, and everyone else EXCEPT for himself of course.

    I do get worried that I’m getting all his negative energy and I’m scared I’ll end up like him. Bitter, mean, and alone.

    Honestly, I’m doing the best I can in the given situation. For me, I think it’s best if I just stay quiet and do my best to ignore him. I’ll nod or say a few yes-es whenever he is saying something negative.

    Regardless of how our parents may be, we have to treat them better and be the better person. If you can just stay patient and quiet, and do your best not to argue or talk back. It is better for you.

    I find the more I try to reason or talk to him, the more angry or forceful and mean he gets. In some way, I can empathize that maybe he has been through very difficult or tough times himself when he was younger and hasn’t been able to make the right choices when it comes to dealing with them.

    My father, and your father are human as well. And just as us, they’ve probably have been going through things throughout their life. I think once you sit down, and really think about, dealing with it will be a little easier.

    Then you’ve also got to work on your part. You can’t control how people behave or what they do, but what you CAN control is yourself and YOUR reaction to it. Wherever your father failed in dealing with his problems in his life, you are GOING to SUCCEED.

    It’s easier said than done, but it is possible. You just have to consciously make sure you are doing your best to think positively, and are continually telling yourself not to take anything he says too seriously.

    Since I currently live with my Dad, it’s a constant battle for me to not drown in the misery and so I have a few things to make sure I don’t fall too hard.

    I’ve been trying guided meditation for stress-relief, peace, and the like. They really re-enforce thinking positively.

    I try and write positive affirmations down in the morning when I wake up to get my day started right.

    I’ll do yoga, exercise or zumba (dance) to keep myself happy.

    I’ve also noticed it’s best if I don’t ever mention my personal goals, plans or dreams to my Dad because he will only criticize.

    I’m using his criticism now as a bit of fuel to push myself to go farther in life. I’m not going to let anyone tell me I’m stupid, or worthless, or that I’m going nowhere in life. Only I choose to define myself and my life.

    I’m trying also to get out of the house more. Once summer comes along, I’ll be going to the library every day to do all my school work so I don’t have to stay at home and have him tell me how stupid he thinks I am while trying to do my homework. Talk about distractions!

    🙂 Try brainstorming on what you can do! Soon enough, one day, you’ll be up on your own feet and then you can live your own life! And only keep in touch with him to see how he is from time to time, and if he’s okay in terms of health and stuff.

  • Its not an easy situation. My father is ruining my life too. He is full of bad energy and frustration and treating me like I am a stupid loser because he helped me a lot with money and I havent succeeded yet in life. SO instead of supporting and admiring the good things I did and my talents and qualities and the fact I believe in myself and have goals and tried different things, he is just taking away all my good energy and motivation to succeed in life and bringing me down. He is always angry and negative and paranoid about everything and it just gives my bad feelings and depression. I always think about how to get away and far from home and tried few times to leave the country and thats when I found myself and my freedom, and I will keep trying again untill I will be on my own and as far as possible. I believe thats what you should do too… easier than trying change an old tough man 🙂

  • How to deal with it?

    Just go your own way, never mind his negative remarks and what he says that pisses you off. It’s your life, it’s in your hands, not his.

    I been through this before, but after any times talking to my dad, he finally understood me.

    But if talking to your dad doesn’t work, just never mind him, don’t get all worked up because of him, do things that calm you down and keep you away from the boiling point.

    Because making you blow your fuse could also be something he likes doing.

  • Well, chances are, you are already mentally harmed but you can fix it with therapy or a really good friend. Your best bet is to separate yourself as much as possible until such a time you can get away from him. Don’t let him affect your actions or thoughts but maybe use this time to figure out why he is the way he is (you’ll need this later on in life, it’s not your job to fix him but eventually you’ll need to understand him).

    As for turning gay, not gonna happen.

    You will have to find a male mentor, but you can find that in a pastor or a teacher. This will be needed so you can have a good model for what is required in the role of husband and/or father.

    I’m sorry you have to go through this. It’s a tough decision and one that shouldn’t be made lightly. Good luck.

  • sorry but hes your dad and your gonna have to deal with it until it ends up with you moving, or him just passing, i dont get along with my dad either and im not wishing him to pass, i just cant be in the same room as him because we argue for everything or he just tries arguing for everything like he loves to pick on things about me so we can fight…

  • Maybe there is someone that you can speak with in your life that can give you advice? (Somone like a personal counselor at your school or one that may be offered at your job)…

    Its good that you are willing to check it out before it delves into your life…and effects you in school and/or work.

  • Um. You won’t have your father around forever.

    I’m not saying that because I think you should have more appreciation for him. I’m saying it because I’d think it’d be a comfort to you. xD

    But, less you go gay for the want of a nuturing male type thing in your life, I suggest you take some time out to really evaluate the situation. Is he causing you physical harm? Emotional harm? Is he simply not supportive? If he’s doing something illegal, talk to someone about it and maybe he can go into therapy or anger management. If it’s just some beef you have with him, try not to let it affect so much. He’s an a-hole. The world’s full of them. It’s a shame you had to grow up with one, but it’s no excuse to let your life go down the toilet.

  • I have seen very rarely such combinations. Never mind. Have patience. Believe in God. Crave for God’s indulgence. God is the neutralizer of every ups and downs in life. It is a big lesson for us. The people who are supposed to be our mentors and guide, if they are not able to understand the tiny tot’s heart where will the children go. We cannot report to any authority on earth other than God in such typical situations.

  • Best way is to rebel against him, and make it clear it to him that its your life and he had his.
    But you have to say it clear, because he’s not going to understand if you don’t say anything.

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